A Rant. Of Farley.

I've complained a bit over the past few days. I complained to the director of campus life about the dance club across the bay, which likes to turn up the volume between 10pm and 2am. Sure, I understand the need to dance, but I'd be more than happy to kill the music if it gets me more sleep. I complained about the cow-trail I take to school. Sure, I could take the bus, but c'mon, Ross - pave the damn path. I complained to one of the lab directors about how students don't take care of the bodies - I get very possessive of them, and perhaps unreasonably angry when students don't show them proper respect.

Now I'm complaining to you. We've got this thing here at Ross called squatting - this is essentially the spreading out and leaving behind of one's belongings in any room devoted to study. I used to believe that these things were artfully arranged in a manner so as to suggest "I've only stepped away; I'll be right back" - but now I see that these things mean "This is my spot". They usually consist of handouts, a few books, a sweatshirt, a water bottle, and some trash. Within days of the beginning of the semester, every table in my favorite study space (the one closest to where I live) has been covered by this selfish land-grabbing paper trail. It may seem as if I dislike squatting - but that's hardly the case.

You see, students will walk into a room, look for an empty desk or table, and leave - because there are none. I, on the other hand, will pick a table I like, and push the pile of papers and books onto some other, inevitably occupied (though not at this second) table. This works rather nicely for me; most people are loathe to relocate another's belongings, so I don't have much competition. Now, there is a bit of a double standard; I have friends who squat, and I'm not going to move their things - I like them. Squatting is the status quo here, and if I were just to find a space and squat, things might run more easily. However, I never leave my things behind (I take it all with me for lunch and dinner, and when I'm done for the day), and that justifies my behavior. Nicole thinks it's because I secretly long for the confrontation....that may be part of it.

There's this particular spot I like right in the middle of the room. It's a great spot - I've got a view of the door, and it's directly under the lights. It had been occupied by this guy and his girlfriend this past week when I came in to study, so I sat elsewhere. Saturday arrived, however, and there was no one to be seen - just the artfully arranged pile of papers and sweatshirts. So, I rearranged the tables to my liking, and moved all of the crap onto one of the desks (two were pushed together - no one needs more than one). I sat there all of yesterday.

So I'm sitting here today, going over pharm when "guy and girlfriend" return. The guy has the audacity to ask how long I'll be here, do I plan on squatting, didn't he see me sitting elsewhere earlier in the week.....etc. He said that he and his girlfriend wanted to sit together, etc. I told him that I'm always going to move someone's stuff because there are no empty seats. What I meant to say was "I like this spot, and whenever given the chance, I will take this spot, by removing your things. What you tried to do through selfish, passive-aggressive squatting, I am doing through open confrontation." He did not seem to understand that "I'm not making you any promises" meant "I'll sit where I want, and that's right here, unless you're physically in this seat." But I've got to wonder....does that make us the same, somehow? I want to deny others the usage of this spot just as much as he does, but I'm' a bit better than that. When I leave, I leave the spot clean - if someone else is going to come and sit there, then that's the way things are supposed to work. However, if they are going to decide to come and squat on the only clear table - they're just going to have to find somewhere else to sit. I'm more than happy to move someone's stuff every single day - so it's in everyone's best interest to just keep their crap off my table!

Squatting isn't even allowed - here's an excerpt from an e-mail I received this very day, from our president of student government:

" ETIQUETTE REMINDER:

These are within the student handbook and should be followed by ALL students. Remember the Honor Pledge you signed in 1st semester at Orientation.

Squatting: Please DONT SQUAT. As administrators have continuously reminded you, if you have to leave for longer than the 2 hour time frame take your materials with you. Also don't take more space then you need to. This is especially relevant for those who study in the Swing Building and CAC 2nd Floor (above the gym). Essentially DONT BUILD A FORT AROUND YOU."

That being the case, is my righteous indignation not only validated, but necessary? There are no security guards walking through and sweeping off detritus at the end of the night; there is no enforcement of these regulations.....except me. I stand alone against the hordes of squatters like Samson against the thousand Philistines (where he had the jawbone of an ass, I have this e-mail). People will always do what's in their own best interest; they will get away with as much as they can - until someone stops them.

I am easy-going. I am reasonable. I am, for the most part, fair. I smile more than I glare. However, I am not passive. I am confrontational. I take advantage of the fact that most people are not. So no, "guy and girlfriend", I don't care if you sit together. Go sit somewhere else. Do not ask me not to sit at your spot. This is my spot. Do not leave your crap here again. If, on some afternoon, you find this spot unoccupied; rejoice! For I am kind and unlike you. But know that if you leave your things here again, you may not be able to find them. I have spoken.