I'm going to go on the record and say that I'm pretty sure that God didn't create any kind of microscopic life intentionally. I doubt there were bacteria and viruses and other parasites - intracellular and extracellular - in the garden of eden. All of that lovely stuff was waiting when Adam and Eve screwed up and were kicked out. What I'm trying to say, is that disease and its vectors must have been part of the curse handed down at the Fall of Man - a curse that still persists today. What I'm trying to say, is that when I sit here, staring at various types of bacteria and viruses, and their various types of resistance, and all of their antivirals and antibiotics (their name is Legion, for they are many) until I want to claw my eyes out - what I'm trying to say, is that it doesn't just feel like I'm being punished, I actually am.
E. Coli. S. aureus. B. Burgdorferi. C. trachomatis. They're invisible demons sent to torment us.
Ciprofloxacin. Methicillin. Doxycyclin. Erythromycin. Sure, they save lives - but right now, they make me want to take a long walk off a short pier.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
I'm actually going home!
We had our first test of the cycle on Monday - it was a beast of a pathology lab exam. Previous tests like this were composed primarily of idenfication and secondary questions. This one, while incorporating the accompanying images, was more of a random, unholy chimaera of disparate bits of details, cobbled together by what must have been the departmental equivalent of a food processor, or, perhaps more fittingly, Dr. Frankenstein.
You see, for these classes, we have laboratory workshops - contrary to their name, they don't involve microscopes, but rather digitized slides of various gross or cellular issues. For the histology and neuroscience lab practicals, the questions came directly from those lab sessions - such was not the case on Monday. I might as well have dispensed completely (well....almost) with the lab presentations, and just pored over the previous details of the course. Nevertheless, I did pretty well, so I guess I can't complain.
This morning, we had our behavioral sciences shelf exam. Ignoring for a moment the regrettable lack of question-writing prowess afflicting the department here, there seems to be a very simple algorithm to answering BS questions, that I can't quite put my finger on. I read through the Board Review Series chapters, I did their comprehensive exam, and I did some other questions, and I can say that the more one does these questions, the more sense they make - there are just a few things you have to know. There's a little bit of epidemiology, a little bit of diagnosing psychotic and mood disorders, only the most cursory understanding of drugs, and a basic knowledge of normal, age-related changes. Whether or not you can answer what's left is basically determined by whether or not you're a nice person. That must be why some of my classmates had such trouble with it.
This brings me back to the algorithm I mentioned earlier - there seems to be definite course approach, just as there is for the more hand-on sciences. (1) Primum non nocere. If someone is in imminent danger, nothing else matters, be they a suicidal waitress or a battered husband. (2) Be nice. Any answer that starts off with "I see that you're upset" is a step in the right direction, and anything that sounds too harsh, is a step the other way. (3) HIPAA reigns supreme. You can't tell anyone anything unless the patient says so, unless they're acutely mentally impaired. (4) The family that stays together...is probably somewhere near the correct answer choice, provided it doesn't conflict with the first three.
Two down, two to go. I actually bought my ticket home yesterday, after much procrastinating. I can't wait to get off this island.
You see, for these classes, we have laboratory workshops - contrary to their name, they don't involve microscopes, but rather digitized slides of various gross or cellular issues. For the histology and neuroscience lab practicals, the questions came directly from those lab sessions - such was not the case on Monday. I might as well have dispensed completely (well....almost) with the lab presentations, and just pored over the previous details of the course. Nevertheless, I did pretty well, so I guess I can't complain.
This morning, we had our behavioral sciences shelf exam. Ignoring for a moment the regrettable lack of question-writing prowess afflicting the department here, there seems to be a very simple algorithm to answering BS questions, that I can't quite put my finger on. I read through the Board Review Series chapters, I did their comprehensive exam, and I did some other questions, and I can say that the more one does these questions, the more sense they make - there are just a few things you have to know. There's a little bit of epidemiology, a little bit of diagnosing psychotic and mood disorders, only the most cursory understanding of drugs, and a basic knowledge of normal, age-related changes. Whether or not you can answer what's left is basically determined by whether or not you're a nice person. That must be why some of my classmates had such trouble with it.
This brings me back to the algorithm I mentioned earlier - there seems to be definite course approach, just as there is for the more hand-on sciences. (1) Primum non nocere. If someone is in imminent danger, nothing else matters, be they a suicidal waitress or a battered husband. (2) Be nice. Any answer that starts off with "I see that you're upset" is a step in the right direction, and anything that sounds too harsh, is a step the other way. (3) HIPAA reigns supreme. You can't tell anyone anything unless the patient says so, unless they're acutely mentally impaired. (4) The family that stays together...is probably somewhere near the correct answer choice, provided it doesn't conflict with the first three.
Two down, two to go. I actually bought my ticket home yesterday, after much procrastinating. I can't wait to get off this island.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
it's that time again.
The tests begin tomorrow, and they will conclude on the 17th - none down, four to go. This will have been the longest I've ever been away from home. I want nothing more than to brush aside all the pictures of deformities, profiles of bacteria and the mountains of drug information so that I may swiftly and resoundingly trounce my little brothers in a Halo deathmatch.
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